Honestly? I didn't ask to be a Valkyrie. It wasn't like I had a say in the matter either. I was just picked up one day (literally) and a woman with this crazy hairdo was like, "congrats, you're a Valkyrie now!". I wish I could say I gave a more mature response to that, but nope. Yours truly went down in history as the first Valkyrie who threw up all down her shirt in excitement.
Sarcasm. You'd think the other Valkyries would know a thing or two about that.
I can't exactly say it's been a bed of roses being a Valky. Then again, I've only been at it for, let's see, about 2 hours and 13 minutes now? Not too bad for my first day, if I don't say so myself. I heard the last one before me got roasted in like, 10 minutes. I wonder what she did. Oh. That's right. She was caught trying to smuggle her boyfriend into Vahalla. (Take into consideration that he wasn't even dead to start with.) I kinda want to giggle now, oh dear.
2 hours and 15 minutes now. Rambling sure takes up time. Ugh. The other Valkies are telling me that I should backtrack and explain a little more. Sorry about that.
Person dies. Valkyrie goes to person. Reviews soul to see if worthy of Vahalla (the High Heavens). If yes, escort him up, he becomes an Einherjar. (Warrior) If no, leave him to rot.
Kidding about that last one. Sort of.
Later I learnt that crazy hairdo woman was Sharlotte, Captain of the Valkyries. Bear with me here, it might get a little confusing. There are 12 Chief Valkies under Captain Sharlotte and those 12 are responsible for the thousands of recruit Valkies under them.
I'm under the 7th Chief, Chief Jalinda and in this 2 hour 17 minutes I've been here, she's been praying I was on oversight on the Captain's part. Lovely. Like I, Zoey Fairfield, asked to be here in the first place. I've heard that Valkyries personally chosen by the Captain have the grand potential to either bring the Valkyries to a new age, or destroy them completely. The things you learn in 2 hours and 17 minutes.
Chief Jalinda said the last time Captain Sharlotte personally picked a new recruit, the Valkyries were almost exterminated. Does the name "Salem witch trails" ring a bell? Yeah, most of them were Valkies, caught doing magic too close to the humans. Their loss.
(My Senior Valkyrie says that's insensitive. Well I'm sorry, Senior Ada, but it's true!)
New Valkyries get a Senior. They watch over us, teach us the ropes, baby us and feed us.
(I'm kidding, Senior Ada, KIDDING.)
They do teach us the ropes though. We're supposed to go through a 5 year training course before being fully initiated in as full Valkyries and during this time, our Senior is our teacher. They make recruits wear feather on their gowns though I think it's more of a practical joke like "Hey look it's the newbies, let's squash them" Captain Sharlotte believes that the best way to learn is through practice. That's why in about 10 minutes time, I will be escorting my first einherjar to Vahalla. Looking like a chicken.
Oooh I see him! He's....he's pushing people out of a burning apartment, straight out onto the streets. Well I GUESS that classifies as noble. I need to check my handbook for that.
Oh wow looky here. It's a noble act but guess who started the fire in the first place? This same chap. So it kind of cancels out the noble cause thing doesn't it? No Vahalla for you mate, sorry.
(HAHAHA this is fun!)
And OOOH! The building exploded! My guy's dead! Cool!
(Well ok, not so cool but from this high up in the clouds it kind of looks like fireworks)
Oh oops. Forgot to review his soul. Pros: Tried to rescue the people and got all of them out of the fire. Cons: Started the fire.
Well I guess he doesn't deserve eternal damnation but I don't reckon he deserves Vahalla either. That leaves Folkvangr, where he can stand around for all of eternity. Trust me, it's much better than Hel.
Ooof. He's a little heavier than he looks. Doesn't miss a meal, this one. I'm actually struggling trying to carry this chap and I really wish Senior Ada would help me.
(She's laughing at me. Why are you laughing?)
There's this huge gapping hole underneath us. Senior Ada says that's Ginnungagap, the eternal void of nothingness and we really really don't want to be dropping our guy down that thing.
Bollocks. This guy is really kicking. Ouch, stop that. I can't carry you much further! Where in Vahalla is Folkvangr? Oh no oh no I'm losing my grip-
Oh bollocks, peas and carrots.
Ok this is a terrible idea. I want to go back to being mortal now, thanks.
